12 Consimbs 4385: The Hearing

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I freely confess that I am more than a trifle nervous at the moment, dear coz.

In accordance with the terms by which I was released from custody, I am now at the hearing to determine my guilt or innocence in the matter for which I was arrested.

But I misspeak. I am not at the hearing itself, for that is not scheduled to begin for another third of an hour. My solicitor Esclegerio -- I should say, Pinsitter's solictor -- assured me that there's little chance it will begin on time, but that I must be scrupulously punctual nonetheless. Esclegerio had asked the Crown to drop the charges prior to the hearing, but apparently the Crown's representative was too busy in the post-Oix rush to respond to his request. So. Here I am.

Aggravated Public Indecency is an Offense Against the Crown, and as such the hearing is to be held in one of Daukhrame's Dangerous Courts. As it is not a very serious Offence Against the Crown, it is at the Slunder Court, which I suppose is not very dangerous as such things go. When Esclegerio informed me of the locale, he also told me that if I even considered bringing red and blue bangles to the court, much less endeavored to jiggle them, he would abandon my defense forthwith. I am not entirely sure how this enters into it or indeed anything. Except that not a ninth of an hour ago one of the personages called to his own defense produced a twirling stick adorned with red and blue ribbons and began waving it about; he was instantly declared in contempt of court and hauled off in bonds.

So. Good advice, I am sure.

The Slunder Court is a round courtroom laid out in two parallel spirals of benches winding towards open space at the centre. Either spiral may be entered from the door. One spiral is painted red, for the defendants to queue within. The other spiral is painted blue and for witnesses and others to enter, and by which anyone may depart, or sit to watch the proceedings, I suppose. I am drifting in my place over the defendant's bench, with my scroll open on the seat itself for me to write this upon. At the centre of the courtroom is the judge's podium. The judge is Justice Casamint, a Herethroy in an imposing toga of indigo cloth trimmed in gold thread, with a stole of slunder scales draped 'round his neck. Beside the judge's podium is a pedestal with a great carved crown-and-scepter mounted upon it. The Representive of the Crown, a slight and aged Cani woman, stands before the crown's pedestal. Defendants are called in turn to stand before them. The Representative calls upon the arresting guard to describe the crime and accusation, and the defendent makes his plea. Either or both sides call upon witnesses to attest to the truth, if there's a factual dispute.

Thus far, there's been one factual dispute, in another Naked-Parade related incident. The defendant said he wasn't naked and had two Orren witnesses attest that he was clothed. The arresting Cani guard said that the defendent was nude at the time of the arrest. The Justice ruled for the Crown on the grounds that the defense witnesses were unreliable.

It's not been very promising, to be truthful. Esclegerio arrived some minutes ago, and greeted me briefly but has otherwise been occupied in discourse with various primes in the blue arm of the spiral. It is some comfort to have a solicitor, at the least. None of the other defendents I've seen have had one.

Ah, one unlucky Orren just delivered her defense in the form of an impassioned screed against the abusive power of unjustified authority. The justice convicted her as not merely guilty of the original crime but Egregiously Guilty as well as guilty of Wasting the Court's Time. The latter offense carried its own stiff fine.

It's now nearly a third of an hour past the time my hearing was set for, and only one person left ahead of me. I shall put this aside for the moment; I do not wish to Waste the Court's Time by missing the moment when I am called.

*

Esclegerio went up with me when I was called. The Representative of the Crown summoned one of the guards who'd arrested me. He attested that I had been found unclad at a public assembly and that he had subsequently arrested me for Aggravated Public Indecency. The justice then asked me, "How do you plea?"

Esclegerio cleared his throat. "Pursuant to the Doctrine of Inquisition, my client wishes me to make certain inquiries of Guard Aroway. With your honor's permission?"

The justice waved a midhand. "Granted."

Esclegerio turned to face the guard. "Guard Aroway, did you witness my client disrobe?"

"What?"

"Did you see him remove his clothing?"

"Nope. Was naked when I got there. I tell you, I'd give a lot to un-see that!" There was a ripple of laughter from the watchers at that. Even the justice cracked a smile.

"No doubt. Other than being naked, can you describe his activities at your arrival?"

"Aye! He was chasing a little Orren lady, poor girl."

"And was this little Orren lady carrying anything?"

"Oh, I guess."

"What was it?"

"A big hat-thing."

"Indeed. And did my client explain the reason for his nudity upon his arrest?"

"Sure, he had a crappy excuse. Don't they all?"

"And what was it?"

"Said someone had taken his hat," the guard said. The Justice raised and spread his antenna. The Representative of the Crown lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her muzzle. The guard looked around. "What? 'e was still naked! Doesn't change the facts!"

"No, it does not," Esclegerio said agreeably. He turned back to the justice. "Your honor, precedent in Greensward v The Crown of Daukhrame 3382 and referenced in Mockingbird v the Crown of Daukhrame 3391, Thesory oa Visgalia v the Crown of Daukhrame 3408, etc, etc, establishes that a prime is innocent of wrongdoing if the commission of a crime was involuntary and due to the criminal acts of a third party -- such as having Mentador used to control his mind and force him to steal, or Corpador used to control his body and force him to assault, or -- as in my client's case, his clothing stolen and forcing him to be naked. Accordingly, my client pleads innocent."

The justice glanced at the Representative of the Crown. "Is there any dispute on the facts?"

The Cani sighed, shuffling her papers. She glowered at the guard and then Esclegerio. Esclegerio's expression was largely controlled, but he allowed himself the smallest of smirks. "We have none," the Cani said, resigned.

"Nor do we," said Esclegerio.

"The Court finds the defendant innocent. The Crown is fined 50 lz. for Waste of the Court's Time, payable to the defendant. Next case," the Justice pronounced.

And that was it! I did not so much as utter a word in my own defense, coz. Now I perceive why solicitors are so costly.